Kaptain Bludd...
Once voted as 'The Dandiest Damn Dandy in The Dandy Universe' in 1863 by the dandy readers of 'Dandiest of the Dandy's Magazine' (sponsored by D'Andie and Sons 'Dandilion and Burdock fizzy pop makers to the stars'), Kaptain Bludd has maintained his good looks over the years by keeping himself covered in fresh flesh (so his own doesn't wear out). A buckaneer by trade, The jolly Kaptain raped and pillaged his way around the globe for many a happy century. He became undead when he was bored one day and never looked back (because his only weakness is turning around and/or looking over his shoulder (of which he only has one real one...guess which?)).
Bludd gave up the seafaring life when the song, 'In The Navy' came out.
His other names include:
Mealie Bug
Sir Martin Khunt
Friar F*ck
Mr. Jingles
The Reverand Chicky Boo Slick Slick
Chipper Forestlog
Warrick Hunt
The Incredible Dr. Bastardo
and...
Lord Jericho Wick-Slapper (The Last of The Human Jellyfish).
Kaptain Bludd wants to be rich and famous again so he can achieve his dream of one day owning his very own Hairy Beach
Some of Kaptain Bludd's favourite foods are:
Soil
Fly Treacle and Muscles (sometimes he can get fresh muscles down at the Morgue)
His own recipe for 'Crunchy Poo Hobnobs'
Dog Dirt Suprise (the suprise is it's not actually dog's dirt!)
Boiled old ladies skin and cat urine sauce with mashed scabs
In his spare time Kaptain Bludd likes to go fishing for Bush Oysters.
He loves Racing Cars, and can often be seen running like hell down the M1 Motorway late at night.
"If I were a Giraffe..." said Kaptain Bludd one day, "I'd fly all over the world."
Kaptain Bludd has to hibernate twice an hour
Kaptain Bludd's favourite joke just isn't funny
Ladlespoons and Germs...I Give You...Kaptain Bludd!
...(and you can keep him too!).
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